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Wordlessly

Wordlessly I try to express

What happened to me

How I really feel about it

And how it scarred me inside

I know my terror and psychic pain

Endured and deeply buried

Now externalised must surely horrify you

When it appears

In symptoms you dont understand

In cuts that go so deep and bleed

But if you shame me again

And mistake my wordless pain

For something manipulative or unreal

Then where am I to find refuge

And understanding

So much of suffering is wordless

Preverbal

Or denied

It gets buried deep

Or sinks to the bottom of an ocean

How long can we keep turning

Not only a deaf ear

And blind eye

But also a numb heart

Toward another soul’s suffering

 

(This poem is dedicated to all Complex PTSD survivors who self harm)

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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13 thoughts on “Wordlessly”

      1. I think we’re carved from the same material my sister in thought. This may at times not be a good thing for I would never wish you grief, but I so like the person you are and your heart and soul so from grief or suffering comes greatness.

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  2. So true!

    Perhaps one of the reasons that society does not wish to deal with this topic is because it’s inconvenient for them. But what of those who suffer? Does anyone think they wish to live that way?

    Peace

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  3. Deborah, I’m taking a nursing course and am currently writing a paper on clinical safety issues. I came up with my thesis statement tonight. “Preventing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder triggers in adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the clinical health care setting, and the need for awareness tracing for nurses to increase safety in patient centered care.”

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    1. Fantastic…. a blogger who is called Her Patchwork Heart just wrote a post on how she was invalidated by a hospital visit. I would only say this : triggering will happen but what is most important is that those working with these survivors understand why and when that is happening so the person can be helped to self soothe. 🙂 And then try not to engage in behaviors that would re traumatise as much as possible.

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