Past present : the path taken

When past is present

Then we are no longer present?

Or only present to the echoes of the past

Of experiences long gone

That never the less

Leave their phantom imprints all over us

Negating the impact of the past

You tell me to focus in the present

Lest I be lost

And believe me my friend

I was lost for years

Trapped by a past

I wanted so desperately to come to terms with

And yet I see

Also

The sacrifices of the present I made

I see the way I failed to see

Or squandered gifts and riches

That were there for the taking

But may have revealed themselves to be meaningless

Once I surrendered to their allure

And yet, and yet

The claiming of my inner world life and soul

Was so overpowering a quest

I could only surrender then

To the beckoning

Of the long hand with one finger pointing the way

Inwards

And downwards

Towards a reckoning

That could have been but was not

Chosen to escape

This undertaking led me into

A place of rich wisdom

Would I now truly sacrifice or call it waste

All that I gained?

Although the deepest loneliness dogged me at times

Was it not also

And often

So tender

Nourishing and

Bittersweet

Attended by the comings and goings of others

Of disappointments, losses and gains

Could I truely say now

I wish things were different

When really all that is of value

I found

Heading down

The path taken