I have written quite a few posts on fear before. Today I would like to share some beautiful writing by Tibetan Monk, Anam Thubten on relating in a compassionate way with our fear.
Anxiety disorders are rampant and widespread now in modern society and fear is rife due to the terrorism and fears we have had to negotiate over years of living with a reptilian brain inside us that responds to danger and threat even if it’s just a reminder of something being triggered now in the present that calls to mind consciously or unconsciously some difficult or dangerous experience in the past that may be now innocuous.
That said often we need our fear to protect us, the problem being when fear runs amok and protects us from actually living our lives and reaching out to embrace connections in a world or society where in the past we did not meet acceptance, empathy or understanding.
Learning who is a safe person to be around and learning when we may be being dismissed or invalidated is important information to have. At the same time we don’t want to cut ourselves off from all human relationships. And there are times when our wounded or sore spots will be triggered and yet we need to stay in order to be present and witness it all without getting lost.
The following extract is taken from the book : Embracing Each Moment.
Happy Sunday everyone or what ever Sunday you have having or about to have : be present : I wish you peace. 🙂
Then there are inner obstacles, which are psychological. The major inner obstacle is fear. It is an obstacle because it prevents us from becoming infinite. It prevents us from growing inwardly. It prevents us from developing love and compassion. It prevents us from becoming happier. This why fear is an inner obstacle. The truth is that everyone has his or own inner obstacles, such as doubt, hatred, anger, and fear. Fear seems to be a universal obstacle.
I’m always talking about the idea of melting. I talk about it perhaps more than anything else these days. I used to talk about enlightenment a lot. Then as time went by, I changed my vocabulary. These days I hardly ever talk about enlightenment…. Melting is the experience of not having any sense of being contracted or shut down in anyway. Instead, it is having the feeling that you can trust the world, you can trust this universe, and you can trust this human life…. You cannot experience this trust as long as you are ruled by fear. This trust I am speaking of is also a form of love. It’s not so much that you love somebody or something, but that you become love. Usually when we feel love, love toward our dog, or toward our friend, we feel a melting happening inside of us. Here you may feel that you become love without any particular object.
Sooner or later you might light to invite your own fears. Maybe you are already conscious of your fears. Invite all of them. Don’t suppress any of them. There are many forms of fear of which you are conscious and many of which you are not aware; there may be a hidden feeling that has been ruling your life all along. A hidden feeling that has been an inner obstacle, holding you back from growing inside, stopping you from becoming more loving and happier. Recognise all of these fears. This is all you need to do. Recognise your own fear. Perhaps you are able to name many of them, but there will also be a list of those you don’t know how to name. Perhaps you’ll be able to name a whole list of your fears. Some of these fears are actually funny when you verbalise them. Some of them can be quite dreadful as well, like fear of death. You feel fears in your body too. You may not even be able to identify them.
Recently I was talking with a long time friend. He and I were trying to summarise all of the Buddhist teachings as well as the path. It turned out that it is all about becoming aware of your own limits and learning how to love. Quite simply, this is what Buddhism is all about. Memorise it and perhaps you wont have to buy many more Buddhist books. Let me repeat this. It is all about becoming aware of your own limits and lanring how to love. To become aware of your own limits is to become aware of your own fear. You don’t have to reject your fear to transcend it. All you need to do is recognise your fear and be a witness to it.
When you are able to witness your fear, then you feel that there is this ground inside of you, this unshakable ground where you can reside. It can sometimes be phsyical or it can be a state of mind or a state of consciousness. The Tantric masters call it the Primordial Fortress. This is the state of consciousness in which you cannot be ruled by your own fear. Once you witness your fear, it has no power over you. It begins to lose its grip on you. Soon fear becomes your neighbour. You can dance with it. Eventually fear turns into an ally and becomes your friend and a part of you. Your neuroses become your intelligence. Whee fer rules you it becpmes a neurosis. When it loses power over you, it becomes intelligence. It helps you to survive. It helps you to find a way in this life. It helps you get around.
Fear can be a form of intelligence Without fear, we could never survive. We might walk over a cliff, drink poison, or jump into a fire. So fear is a form of intelligence, not something to be eradicated. Finally you will know how to love because you are no longer ruled by your fear; you can start melting. You don’t have to look for happiness. You don’t have to search for anything. The secret of happiness is that you can never search for it. If you find soemthing by searching for it, it is not true happiness. It’s only psychological solace. You can pursue psychological solace but not true happiness. True happiness comes from loving, melting, and being free from the grip of fear.
Emerging From The Dark Night 