Super Angry

I seem to be just seething with rage today.  I think I know where it comes from.. my chest is burning and I know there is a grief component.  I sent an angry message reply to the family member who blocked me shortly after my Mum died, she was giving me a lecture on being happy and how she wished my life was different for me.  Well at the fucking moment it IS WHAT IT IS so why the fuck not validate that?  But I know I will be sidelined again.  Because I spoke my mind and said how I feel that few people are willing to engage at any level with grief at all but would rather run or fucking bat you down with platitudes.  I told her when I am on the recieving end of this SHIT I feel suicidal the point being no one would find me for days anyway…… I told her I am fucking over it.   I dont care any more those who understand will validate my pain if they cant and wont well get the fuck out of my face.