I waited for your message But maybe there were no words to say Instead you sent images
Your silence isn’t a punishment anymore Now that I can see and feel more deeply Maybe we both just needed time
How could our words acknowledge this deeply hurting place in us All the ways we tried to be there And were left wanting? And the grief we feel In fully facing an ultimately tragic end Who knows what will grow from this place
Your silence shows me that you may struggle to understand or know how to express the love you feel inside and the confusion too
I also feel how much you had to deny your pain And wanted to run from the one who saw it and reminded you of it After all it is a hopeless pain Over something you longed so deeply for but could never have
The photos you sent to me Of ice cold fields Show me more of what is really going on Deep within your soul In a place beneath words
And maybe the deeper truth is That so much of this pain and wound we share cannot be spoken
Maybe in the silence of deeper reflection There is a fullness where so much more is known
At least that is what I feel as I type these words And tears fall down my face Birthing an inner knowing that opens my heart’s understanding wider
What we need most of all Are other souls who understand our silence And what may lie hidden there
We cannot demand the right word From a soul who cannot give it And feelings lie in a realm so far from ideas and ideals anyway
And so we must use our feeling sense and all our subtlety to divine What is really at the base of things What pain or fear or hope or love or wanting gives birth to the deeper root
When we demand solutions perhaps in some way we by pass our healing
The opening of a wound that bleeds both life and love With a blood that nourishes our soul
Growing strange and beautiful inner flowers of deeper mystery and knowing
Under a cover of silence
Emerging From The Dark Night 