I watched rerun of a television special a few nights ago which featured Elton John performing at the London Palladium, some of his best loved songs in tandem with interviews and then an award presented to him by old pal Rod Stewart (the initial Brit Icon award). It moved me to tears and stirred up so many memories for me that were so poignat and bittersweet. My Mum who died just over 4 weeks ago loved EJ and his album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road was also the soundtrack to my early adolescence. I must have been around 13 when it was released and I used, on lonely afternoons at home on my own go to the big lounge room we never used except for special occasions and listen to it singing along and following each word on the inside of the bifold album cover which contained illustrations for each song, my favourites being Bennie and the Jets Funeral for a Friend and Grey Seal.
It wasn’t the only Elton album I loved and that accompanied pivotal traumas in my life others such as Caribou and Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only the Piano Player with the beautiful track My High Flying Bird was playing on the eight track cassette in Dad’s car when we nearly spun off the side of the precarious Clyde Mountain after skidding on oil left on the road after a rain storm.
Your Song and Rocket Man were two of the other songs which Elton performed that moved me on Wednesday night. Its amazing to me how deeply embedded memories are as well as feeling tones that accompany central songs of our youth. Readers born post 1980 may not relate at all to this post but I am going to share videos here of both songs.
The Bi Polar Writer recently shared a number of posts about music that improved his mood. Like good poetry music has the ability to transport us to another time and place, it has the ability to open us on levels which are bodily, vibrational and deeply organic. The right song at the right time can speak to our sorrow or to our joy, to our struggles, to our blues, to our frustration, to our longing or to our dreams. It may tell the story of something we endured in our hearts that is hard to express but resonates so deeply in a way mere words or non musical explanations could not. Elton’s music is a lot like that for me.
I also feel a resonance with Elton as, at the time of the Brit Icons presentation he was 23 years sober (and I was 23 years sober last year). He had to hide a huge part of who he really was for years, even going to far as to get married when he actually knew he was gay but could not admit it publically to it due to shame and fear. In the special that aired the other night he was open about his demons and thanked his partner David Furniss for helping him with them, for staying by his side. I felt both elation and nostalgia watching the show. Elton John’s music will always be a huge part of my life. It was pivotal to those otherwise silent lonely afternoons after school when I was all alone with no family at home. I hope these songs are enjoyed by others. Rocket Man speaks to how so many people in recovery feel, so alienated and far from home, feeling different in some essential part of their spirit, yet also longing for embodiment and earth. Maybe addiciton is like that, at least that is what I feel when I listen to that particular song. It hits me in a place that resonates so deeply and reminds me how precious life on earth in a human body really is, but how deeply painful too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi-22rkFhHM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTa8U0Wa0q8&list=RDmTa8U0Wa0q8&t=84
Emerging From The Dark Night 