A way of being present with ourselves

A way of being present with and to ourselves, is a way also of finding True Refuge an idea that Tara Brach explores in her book of the same name.   In the fifth chapter she exploses a pratice of mindfulness in difficult times.  It is sometimes so challenging for us to be present for these experiences and emotions, and to contain feelings of stuckness or confusion and not be totally possesed by emotions as well.

In her book as an experienced meditator and practitioner of mindfullness, Tara offers the acronym of R.A.I.N. in this situation, each letter a representation of a concept that can help us to show up and be present in the situation to what is going on inside of us.

R = Recognition of what is happening, seeing what is true in your inner life. Are you feeling powerless?  Is there something you don’t like or dont want to face.  What are you feeling?  Anxious? Fearful?  Angry?  Asking ourselves “What is happening inside me right now?”  Focusing on sensations in our body as they are, even if difficult to stay with.  Awareness of our felt sense in a body.  Tightness in our chest?  Clenching our jaw?

A = Allowing life to be just as it is.  This means not arguing with reality, letting feelings and sensations be rather than unconsciously reacting.  Whispering an encouraging expression, word or phrase to your heart.  “This hurts but I am here with you.”  “Stay with it.”  Even “remember to breathe”.   And most importantly “Yes”… “Yes, I feel shame, Yes, in this moment I feel scared, Yes, I feel sad.”  Allowing a softening in and loosening of resistance to what is, not fighting.

I = Investigage with kindness.   This is a practice the deepens the first two.  It is a way of exploring what is happening with greater insight.  “What in me needs attention?”  “What am I believing in this situation?”  “How am I talking to myself?” “What is asking for acceptance?”… a way of approaching our experience with “an intimate quality of attention.”  Is there an underlying fear being triggered, fear of failure, fear of rejection?  Asking our inner self “What do you need from me?”  “How can I help you with this?” Befriending our inner life.

N = Non identification : Rest in natural awareness.   In this pratice we work to not attach or fuse our sense of self  with any limited set of emotions, sensations or stories.  “When identification with the small self is loosened, we begin to intuit and live from that openness and love that expresses our natural awareness.”   In this practice we “rest” within what we experience or feel for a time.  We let go on some level to surrender to its flow.   With non attachment we become freer, enlarged not contracted, resistive, restless.

According to Brach “Pausing for brief periods of R.A.I.N. during the day is as important in awakening us from trance as a more full blown sensation.  A brief and cleansing shower of R.A,I.N.  may only take a minute or two  :  Recognise emotional reactivity.  Pause by taking three full breaths and allow inner experience to be as it is.  Investigate with kindness whatever feelings are most predominant.  Resuming activity and noticing if there is more natural presence.”

Such a soothing mindfulness practice can help us to be more aware and kind to ourselves and conscious of our reactions.  “Our sense of safety and stability also grows when we cultivate our own inner resources – the meditative skills that settle the mind, calm the body and steady the attention.  Here we are taking refuge in truth, in practices that ready us for a full embodied present. ”

Quoted paragraphs taken from  : Tara Brach : True Refuge : Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart.