Tell me : If I dare

Tell me its okay

To be happy

When you are suffering and in pain

Tell me I am allowed to breathe

Let me know its okay to be me again

That what I feel is just right

For me

After so many years of trying so hard

Not to be

After years of being told

No and not okay

I know how I struggle

And how I don’t have it all together

All of the time

(Who does?)

But I also know that that permission

I seek

Well it needs to come from me

For whose job is it

Of those outside to say

Its okay to live

Its okay to fight

Its okay to scream

I don’t want to die

I don’t want to drown

There may be so much heartache and pain in life

But oh my

There is also so much beauty and love to be found

I see it all around me on our morning walk

In silver birch leaves fluttering in the breeze

In starlings call

In my puppy dog’s joyful leap

Through long summer fields

These things of ecstasy and beauty I drink in

Heal me of my fear

Of my old stories of want and lack and despair

Remind me

Life is there

Just for the being

For the living

For the taking

If I dare