In this world

Drowning

In this world there are so many things we dont understand Past ties that bind Laying claim to new souls Ancestral breaks wanting to be repaired and a deep longing in a soul That seemed to arrive fresh and new but really came from afar

When I looked at you Sweet darling When the sadness was deep I felt you really understood There was no sympathy at all Just a recognition of my suffering and a warm smile Which made my sorrow flow Until it was spent

Later you tell me “‘I come from the stars’ I believe you and if your Neptune Sun touches my deep wound of separation That is not just personal There is a deeper reason And its one we cannot tell anyone For I do not think that they would understand With Neptune now directly opposite Mars its no wonder the deeper cause and outplaying is hidden spanning centuries back

Yesterday you said I dont want to go home I want to stay here And also I want to stay in bed Then when you were pulling to be recognised Daddy turned a blind eye You fell asleep while we all talked in the other room  I wish I remembered to go and check on you But then when you were found Panic set in

When the ambulance men came They took over I was back in the car at 17 With the ambulance man over me   Taking control  Everything inside me was silently screaming Dont do this Let her go

Later you struggle to break free of sedation Like a swimmer who is drowning just as my sister did 4 years before.  This time I could not scream down the room The other time they listened

I watch your little arms flail about as they pin you down Neptune’s tide of sedation is taking you deep

Oh Lyra I wish I could take you away from this place Where no one understands There are things I have no words for But this much I know Deep inside over those past five days We recognised each other as kin When we smiled it was from deep within

My beautiful darling I wish I could keep you safe from harm In your heart you know more than anyone could ever understand

On the drawing you made for me you wrote the words My heart is full of love for Gradma Deb Oh Lyra my beautiful darling my heart is full of love for you

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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