If you shut the door on me What can I do? What happens to this river inside that wants to flow With all that love denied? I have no answers here. Dissolution of the pain in another liquid? The painful compromise? Or yet more tears?
I surrender my love to God I dont know if he is a he or a she or a force Of something unspoken That just “knows” me in all my wounds, desires, pains, vaquished hopes and insecurities But in this place of surrender I find a place for love
My heart knows how much loss tends to dog this time of year Its like the refrain of a long forgotten song I have to sing in silence Not really knowing all the words Or the flow of an underground river Issuing from an ancestral ocean so deep No mind or heart is fully large enough to fathom it
So in the afternoon Safe inside the coolness of my little house I will Potter Reflect Dust Listen to Music Wonder Write and Cry So glad to no longer be wandering that vast lost wilderness So alone out there
Deep inside my heart someone sees and knows
So I will say to that shut door – Maybe your purpose was to send me home.
Emerging From The Dark Night 