There was a saying I heard frequently in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous in the early years of my sobriety that said religion was for people who did not want to go to hell and spirituality or recovery was for people who had been there and did not want to go back. There may be a different way of looking at hell though, maybe it is the psychic birthplace where our deeper soul is purified and old dross and illusions are burned away. I may feel this due my deep Pluto Saturn signature which concerns “purification through suffering and rebirth through the ordeal by fire.” This may sound obtuse or extreme but those of us who have had to burn up due to pain, abandoment, rejection or emotional abuse know this territory well. We cannot by pass our shadowy depths on the path of healing. For those who relate to that path the following reading my give some insight or comfort. I love the work of Tian Dayton, she is a pathfinder and guide on the way through emotional recovery and I trust all she writes about addiction and adult child recovery.
Facing Inner Hell
Today I will not avoid an inner hell in order to live constantly in heaven. When I refuse my deepest fears and nightmares, I keep the best of my inner life at bay as well. The demons that I fear the most gain life while I hold them in darkness within me. When I face them fully and bring them into the light they shrivel up and die. Part of my psychic and spiritual growth lies in my willingness to know all – all that is outside and all that is within. Running from any part of me creates distance from my soul – if I wish to walk a spiritual path and come closer to myself I need to face all is there. There is nothing ugly about me if I hold it in the light of compassion, love and forgiveness, no hell on earth or within me is more powerful ultimatly than love.
I will face fully what is inside of me
Emerging From The Dark Night 