Much valued support

I just had a lovely unexpected experience of support from both my Mum and my sister in reaction to the hurtful comments of our family friend I read in her text yesterday.  Mum shared how upset my sister was that I had been hurt in such an insensitive way.  I was moved to tears when Mum told me this.  They both understood exactly how I felt and validated it.  I cannot tell you what a gift this is to me.  Its shows me that all the emotional support I have given is appreciated and has not been in vain.

I have always longed for a closer relationship with my living sister, but at times I have been very wary of her.  Her brusque manner in the past hid a deeper sensitivity that has emerged through all her trials and tribulations and I realise that she was hardened in th past because her ex husband used sarcasm a lot and so looked to that for protection of his own past pain from being raised in a tough home where his own Mum struggled with alcoholism.  My sister inherited kind of rigid formality which at times hides her softer more vulnerable side.  I see all this much more clearly now.

It was so special to receive this validation of how upset I was about what I found in the text message yesterday.   I know it was also a warning to be careful who I open my soul to.   Our past wounds are not just fodder for another person’s entertainment, or to be so carelessly thrown off.   I can only imagine it comes out of some kind of ignorance.   To be called ‘intense’ when you have suffered intense trauma is pretty unfair, I am just going to write it off as insensitivity, from a person who Mum told me this afternoon was never shown much affection.

In discussing it with my therapist this afternoon she feels I was almost erased in the text message. She wondered why.  This friend was very interested to hear all I have learned in my own therapy and dealing with trauma.  I dont know why then she felt the need to rub me out but that is the gut instinct of what I felt when I read the text.  I am trying to let the hurt go as its not mine to keep.   I will be wary in future though.  But I wanted to let everyone know my family took my side and understood and that support has made me feel 100 percent better than I did this time yesterday.  The sun is shining on me this afternoon, happily…. 🙂