Many colours : a rainbow flower

When I blamed you

When I allowed my anger to become

The barricade that kept you out

I only hurt myself

I cut myself with the sword

I wanted to drive so deep into your heart

And in so doing I forgot our deepest

And most complex humanity

In my ignorance

I split the world into black and white

And forgot how many different shades there are

And so I began to live in a grey universe

And yet underneath

Reality revealed my anger was red

And my grief was deep indigo

My joy shimmered and shone with a golden light

When it appeared after the reams of tears were shed

And all of these colours revealed to me

The depth and richness of a passion

That I had to bury

And yet was paradoxically found

In the anger

In the anguish

In the turmoil

And the hate

And so now I see

That life

Is really such a rich and deeply complex tapestry

Shot through also with threads of lead and gold

So many silken skeins

So much more profound

Mysterious mystical and magical

Than I could ever have known

With a mind

By deepest gut and heart

Disengaged

Now, I find myself

Humbled here

But in that humbling grown larger

Opening slowly like a flower that closed

In the absence of light

Its petals shut tight

After falling hard on barren ground

And ever so slowly

My petals unfurl

To reveal a rainbow flower

Grown beautiful through suffering

Wise and open

Through doubt and confusion

Informed by at times by dread

And at times by wondering