Mired in discomfort, heartache or pain it can be so hard to see that there may be gifts in the challenging situations life presents us with. Things happen to us all the time we neither felt we wanted or needed, and it may be so hard to see what actually was needed by the soul in some circumstances. Often our souls and hearts did not get what they truly needed for us to truly thrive growing up and we cannot deny this, as some would like us to. Real deficits or hungers left in the soul do become corrosive and very painful if never understood or tended with love and care. And hard as it is some amongst us really missed out on essential needs being understood or met. Its not until we suffer and struggle with the pain of these that we can understand we need to go on a different kind of journey to meet them now as adults.
Our pain and the absence of what we needed leaves us hungering and then perhaps we travel deep, to the very darkest side of life. It can be hard to accept that it wasn`t meant for us, to have the loving family who noticed us, that didn’t dismiss and ignore our sensitivity or pain and yet for some of us that is our journey. We all know that things can often not go to plan, the person we hoped would love us ends up not seeming to care much or at least caring more about their own needs. The career we hoped for doesn’t end up working out. Our beloved pet has an accident, gets ill or dies. We face a terminal illness or a loved one dies. These are the toughest of tough lessons that literally see us down on bloodied knees in a pile of sludge, maybe formed by our own tears. And yet, how much more grace and wisdom enters our lives when we finally learn to say “yes!” and surrender the outcome or event to a higher power and submit to facing and freeing the feelings such events evoke within and for us?
I know how hard it can be to believe in higher powers and plans at times. When life has only ditched you raw deals some manage to maintain an attitude philosophical which pisses others of us off and yet, and yet, when we do find ourselves in certain situations with our back literally against the wall there is a shift of consciousness that can occur which will enable us to find serenity within from acceptance of what was hard but possibly was given to birth a deeper understanding and dark wisdom within us. At such times of surrender we begin to feel deep down in our bones that just maybe the Universe can and will carry us through and even help us to rise above. Serenity is the hard won gift of our acceptance, most often forged in a crucible of fire.
After many incidents of praying and having my prayers heard in some way, I am convinced in the power of pray to effect a change even just a change of attitude that will help me to get my focus off pain and trauma to something good that can nourish me. Often, though prayers don’t work if they just involve praying for our will, what helps is asking for help to accept, surrender or understand, help to have a change of point of view, help to see beyond fear, hatred, thoughts of retribution and punishment or deep rage and despair to deeper lessons and old wounds that may be hidden under the surface and triggered by this latest trial or incident.
I wonder if you would risk to try it, this kind of surrender in prayer, asking for the gift inside the pain to be revealed to you, daring to unwrap it rather than complain and try to return it to sender. I wonder what would happen then?
I am a fan of Marianne Williamson, the kernal of truth that I take away from her teachings is to answer pain and fear with love. I do believe as she does that no matter what pain or trial we go through in life there is a place of peace deep inside where our soul is untouched but often we only find it after we have fully descended into our pain and seen the cost of holding on, often we have to dig very deep to find this place inside. We cannot give it as a gift to anyone else, but our own journey and example may just help others to find their way through their own dark days and nights to it. We can shine that light the darkness to say – Yes I know how much it hurts I am with you and I understand but I also know what lies on the other side and it is light and an infinite place of love.
Emerging From The Dark Night 