I am grieving because life is out there and I am not living it today
I am too concerned with the pain of past that is gone
and if anger doesn’t serve the process of taking me
deeper into the sorrow that comes
when the cost of holding onto defences of anger
rob my present life of love healing and compassion
what is it worth?
Can I say I am really living?
Take a walk darling and let the energy flow!
Then wisdom voice/mind says to me :
Deborah be patient and compassionate
Love and don’t criticise yourself
it’s okay to struggle
it’s okay to question
it’s okay to wonder
it’;s okay to somedays get trapped in your mind
in trying to figure it out
because on a new day you will do something else
on a new day you won’t be struggling so hard
in time days of struggle will give birth to something else
you just have to be patient and trust the process
and know that there will be a day when you can move forward
into the present moment
to actually live it
to embrace life
just allow your pain and anger a place
and trust that they will transform
and release you
to love and freedom
in time
Emerging From The Dark Night 