I wish

I wish to value my feelings.

I wish not to over ride my hurt, by pushing myself too hard out of unconscious feelings of not being ‘enough’.

I wish to treat myself tenderly in the hurting places.

I wish to no longer rationalise abuse or make excuses.  I can recognise there were causes and factors leading to abuse but I cannot condone the abuse by saying it did me good.

I wish to be a person who can be honest and true even about painful things and yet be a voice for love on this planet where there can be so much pain, hurt and destruction.

I wish to no longer judge myself on the difficult days when I choose to take it easy and just rest.  I won’t die or become ill just because I rest, when often I push myself too hard.

I wish to be able to be and to breathe with peace in this present moment, free of painful memories of things that hurt me and constant trauma PTS symptoms.

I wish to acknowledge the damaging impact such things had on me but to no longer let the pain and impact poison my present.

Please God show me the way home to peace.  I am so tired of hurt, denial, lies and rationalisations/justifications abuse and trauma.