This blog hightlights the central role of contempt indevaluation. It mirrors some of Alice Miller’s insights into victims of narcissistic parents who devalue and reduce their self esteem meaning and essence through contempt.
Like so many other victims of emotional abuse, it took me a very long time to see through the abuse in my own marriage. The abuse in my youth was more overt, but still difficult for a naïve kid to recognize. Again, this is common for abuse victims. Those people who were abused as children frequently become retraumatized as adults in toxic relationships. Even in physically violent abuse, the bottom line injuries are spiritual, emotional. The long-term absence of love alone is a devastating thing. A prolonged abuse without a place for normal peace and emotional safety is very traumatic. In my case, two long-term, consecutive abusive relationships resulted in a man who has been an object of contempt all his life. Some of you reading this know what this feels like.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, lawyer, pastor, counsellor, elder, psychologist, psychiatrist, or genius. I’m not even free…
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Emerging From The Dark Night 