I had a watershed insight today, after a long conversation with my Mum. I see how I fear my own feelings and then I project that fear out. It is a very mysterious thing. I am just glad now to have this insight into myself. It has something to do with all the squares to Neptune in my chart from water (feelings) to air (thoughts).
Often I intellectualise rather than feel and then feeling bursts forth like a dam which needed to break.
When I intellectualise feelings get dammed up in my body and then I feel torn. I am literally beside myself.
Mavbe what is happening now is that the two fracture parts of me are healing, joining, knitting together. Maybe this is a rebirth. It certainly feels like one.
Emerging From The Dark Night 