Look its probably not going to happen all of the time, but when it does and it concerns my dog, I am a bit pissed off! The groomers obviously didn’t hear that I wanted Jasper to a have a light trim and tidy up, although I expressly told the girl who took Jasper initially this. I turned up a few hours ago to pick him up and found him like a shorn sheep, except for his tail and ears, they had done what I asked in this vicinity (for some reason). And what pisses me off more was my measured response, inside I was screaming THIS ISN’T WHAT I ASKED FOR!!! Outside I was cool as a cucumber. The groomer apologised (did she really deserve a serve from me?) but this isn’t the point I was scared to hurt HER feelings!
Of course I immediately applied my AA slogans. ‘How important is it?’ I know the fur will grown back in time and there are benefits from having it this short, as J’s fur was picking up all the sticky grass cuttings from the lawns mown by the council this week close to the lakeside near the park where I let him run free. But this is my rational side. My other side is missing his lovely soft fur and is reminded of having the same thing done to me when I was about 5 or 6, my mother had my long hair cut back to a short bob, due the fact it was too much trouble to wash it. I felt scalped.
I was feeling sick and hot by the time I got home with little J. I pottered around tidying things and then put on some lively guitar music from a lovely young lad who I went to see at a local folk festival a few years back. Inside the music was expressing the inner chaos I was actually feeling inside and dumbing down. Letting off a bit of steam with some frenzied air drumming and dancing around like a mad thing also helped.
I’ve just finished dinner, part of me knows I need to let go of something that happened that I cannot change, but it still taps into an old wound, that frustration of asking from something or wanting something that gets lost in translation and then putting a lid on how frustrated and thwarted and sad that makes me feel.
Anyway its definitely not a major catastrophe, Jasper’s fur will grow back in time, but I am still adapting to the shock of seeing my little man stripped of his long fur loveliness. And wonder why I don’t get heard. This sort of things can and does happen to me a lot and I question what it is and think it may happen because sometimes I am just too soft and ‘nice’. Although that may not be the reason at all.
Emerging From The Dark Night 