One of the major issues of suffering from trauma or Complex PTSD is that we can be held hostage by the past. The present moment is full of triggers for us which are a walking and waking mine field. In response to a trigger we are pulled back in time, we feel the power of trauma’s hold like a gravitational force field that surrounds us and sucks us under (at least this is how I have experienced over the past 11 years of my very severe trauma following a major bike accident that was a retriggered of all my old trauma.)
It may seem to others as if we are not making sense when we tell them of what we experience. The hold of a traumatic event can be powerful and is not just “all in the mind” since our body is what responses in trauma and is traumatised too with chemicals gone haywire.
Today I was reading about dissociation in a book on Borderline Personality Disorder and Mindfulness. In the book the author was speaking about dissociation (a feeling of being split off from present reality and pulled into a separate world) and derealisation (a feeling of not being real or being behind glass, existing in a world apart from others) both of which are major symptoms not only of BPD but of Complex PTSD as well.
In order to combat such states attention was being called to ways in which we can ground ourselves in the present moment. Some of the ways recommended were to engage with each of the senses :
Taste : Place in your mouth a piece of gum or candy that has a strong flavour. Savour the taste.
Temperature : Use something that is very cold, hold cold ice under your tongue. Place cool flannel over the back of your neck. Plunge your hand into a bowl of icy water. (If the cold is too much for you, you could use something warm.)
Smell : Use scented lotion, rub it into your hands.
Sight : This technique was given to me by a bodyworker. Look at something in the environment that you are drawn to. A bright colour or lovely texture of cloth, rug or carpet. A beautiful tree.
Another technique it to choose a letter and look around the room or environment and name everything there that begins with this letter. Undertake this exercise for at least 10 minutes. This will anchor you more in present time.
Sounds : Use music that brings you a feeling of pleasure. (Some songs could be triggering and may be best avoided.) Select certain songs to go to when you need to feel a greater sense of peace.
Touch : Identify textures and things in the environment that you can touch which bring a sense of pleasure. Your dog or cat’s soft fur. Fresh grass, sand, rough wool.
Over time as we practice grounding we may begin to become more aware of the times when we are dissociating from our experience, when uncomfortable sensations from the past may be beginning to overwhelm us. As we begin to recognise this we can begin to combat the powerful hold that our past traumatic imprints and traumas have for us. There are times we will have to enter the trigger to understand its hold but we wont be helped if we are endlessly flooded and dissociated.
I have noticed that often when I wake in the morning I can be in a dissociated state. I feel the grip of two worlds, that of present waking reality and of past trauma. I feel the heaviness of complex PTSD which is associated with experiences of being held down, trapped, over powered or disempowered. What helps most at this times is to seek ways to engage with the present moment as I wake up.
The impact of past trauma can be so powerful, but there is something that can combat it. Beginning to recognise things that are healing, enlivening and empowering within the present moment and attaching our attention to them in order to break the powerful hold of dissociation.
Emerging From The Dark Night 